Book Review- Pretty Ugly: A Novel

Pretty Ugly: A Novel

By: Kirker Butler

Format: Hardcover, borrowed from my local library

Creepy Funny

Why I chose: I picked up this book because of the blurb on the front. Seth MacFarlane said it was hilarious, and I want to read what funny people think is funny.

Minimal synopsis: There’s a child beauty pageant family and they are fucked up. They live in Kentucky. They are in debt and they are deranged.

Why you should read: It is a slow start, but the world building there was important for the rest of the book. It’s a slow play for some very funny moments toward the end.

The funny moments in this book aren’t the “oh haha that’s cute, little chuckles,” they are the incredulous funny moments where you laugh but it also makes you have a mini existential crisis in which you think “oh wow maybe I’m a bad person” for laughing at this.

Good news, you’re not a bad person for laughing. You’re a fucking great person for laughing and for deciding to read this demented and wayward “Little Miss Sunshine meets Bad Grandpa” tale.

Read. This. Book. You will feel so normal and accomplished and think: “Wow, I have problems, but at least I don’t live in Kentucky.”

Bonus: Because of the magic words “Family Guy” on the cover, my boyfriend is currently reading.

Book Review- On the Island

On the Island

By: Tracey Garvis-Graves

Format: Paperback, borrowed from my local library

Why I chose: Booktuber Lindsey Rae said that she couldn’t stop reading this book. I want to read what other people find addicting, to see if I can find the same.

Minimal synopsis: A thirty year-old woman agrees to tutor a sixteen year-old boy who is in remission from cancer over the summer at a tropical destination. Unfortunately, their small plane crashes, leaving them to survive.

Why you should read: Okay. Yes, this synopsis is an eye-roll. I did it. However- this book was simultaneously predictable and interesting.

Also, if you’re just a sucker for survival stories, or your favorite question in an interview is “What 3 items do you bring with you to a tropical island?, then read this book. It is easy to read, and before you know it you are sucked into their world.

My one gripe with the book was that the age difference between the two lovebirds was so creepily disgusting. However, without it, the point of the book would have been lost.

Bonus: The author mentioned this being made into a movie. The whole time I was reading this, I kept thinking about the one ABC Family movie where Amanda Bynes tricks “Welcome to the OC Bitch” dude into thinking they are stranded on an island, when in reality there is a resort a few miles away. Classic Amanda Bynes. What’s she doing these days? Has anyone heard from her? Is she OK?

Book Review- Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale

Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale

By: David Duchovny

Format: Hardcover, borrowed from my local library

The borrowed library book

Why I chose: My boyfriend made me watch every episode of Californication on Netflix.

Minimal synopsis: Told from a cow’s perspective. She lives on a farm. She is a cow.

Why you should read: The story is not the best. However, if you are a fan of David Duchovny, you are able to read in his voice and his tone and his effortless “fuck-you-I’m-cool” diatribe. And the fact that you’re sitting there, reading this, thinking of David Duchovny trying to write from a cow’s perspective is just funny to me.

This is a short story. It is not supposed to be realistic. It is fun. Honestly, if it had been written by anybody else, it would not have made sense or even been a little bit funny.

But It’s David Duchovny! Hank Moody! The X-Files is coming back! I never watched the X-Files in the first place, but now it’s practically back!

Bonus: David read this story in Audible, which sounds like a much more fun way to hear this story. He’s also a singer/songwriter, and you can listen in Spotify.

Book Review- Canary

Canary

By: Duane Swierczynski

Format: Hardcover, borrowed from my local library

This book was a pure browse and pick up. I had never heard of this book before in any capacity, and I’ve never read this author before. I’m so glad that I decided to pick this up by reading the inside flap.

A young college student becomes a confidential informant after landing herself in a little bit of trouble.

This girl was in the wrong place at the wrong time and it messes up her studious, scheduled life. This book is fast-paced, funny, and wonderful to read. I flew through this book. I had to find out how this girl was going to get out of trouble, and seeing her wide-eyed innocent gaze into everything criminal was powerful.

The best part of this book was that the main character was able to analyze her situation and overcome it. She researched, she planned, and she outsmarted several people.

I felt like I was reading another version of Veronica Mars. I need more of this kind of book, and I definitely need more of this author.

This book is not to be missed, it is thrilling and adventurous.

Bonus: The author has written several books. According to the afterword, this seems to be the tamest and written so his kids could read along as well. I can’t wait to check out some more of his work, I might have a new author to add to my ever-growing list of “FUCK YES.”

The House of the Scorpion

The House of the Scorpion

By: Nancy Farmer

Format: Audiobook, purchased through Amazon’s Audible

Narrated by: Raul Esparza

I first heard about this book in the 8^th grade in the early 2000s. My teacher had recommended that we all take a chance to read this book. I never got the chance to pick it up. I’m glad I didn’t read this well into my twenties.

It was kind of horrifying.

I decided to purchase this via audiobook because it was narrated by the wonderful Raul Esparza. Raul portrays Rafael Barba on Law and Order SVU and there is something about his voice that is so soothing and easy to listen to. I’m very happy I chose to listen to this book because he pronounced the Spanish names of things that I would have butchered in my head.

This book follows a young clone who was raised on a plantation in a land between the United States and Mexico. It is haunting. Experiencing his world through child eyes is painful and innocent. The book even gets disgusting with the descriptions of every day life and his experiences.

Some of the experiences he had were so gross I felt this prickly sensation on my skin.

That’s the way a book should be. Nancy Farmer was able to show me what was happening, and with Raul’s wonderful narration, I felt like I was there with the young clone, a silent ghost who could only watch in dismay of his horrors.

This book teaches humility, strength, and true love.

Bonus: A sequel to this book, The Lord of Opium, was released in 2013. Adding to my TBR. If only Raul could return and give life again to this story.